20° // 13°

ft Elwood dress, shirt and parka stolen off my unfortunate friends, H&M boots, ugly ass Sportsgirl bag, H&M boots, Royal Aquamarine sunglasses

Whenever I try taking selfies / outfit photos I can feel my brain and the rest of the world going like

I have very little of interest to say - what do I even have to talk about on outfit posts? Lo0k at me these are clothes I lyk dis with dis it looks gud so I wear it!!!11!!!1 me be wit boots ?? F E S H IO N
You know what's actually interesting? This bad ass red as fuck waterfall.

I'd probably be a really shitty geologist (good thing I'm not one!) because the first two things I thought of when I saw this was 1. OH NO we breaked nature and the earth sorry halp 2. Looks like vagina period blood ow 

More skilled geologists than I obvs did their thang and found that this red waterfall is the run-off from a lake beneath the Taylor Glacier, where all these microbes dudes chill out - like literally trapped under a thick layer of ice from the rest of the world, with no light or oxygen - and oozes out red stuff cos it's doped up in iron. So these little dudes basically lived in a natural time capsule, and it shows that life can exist in the most extreme conditions on Earth - how's that for an outfit post

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Follow me in these social network thingos so we can network socially and sexually I mean what 
Twitter / Tumblr  

Work it out in the morning

ft. ASOS swimsuit and shorts way too small for me

I am so excited and inspired and stoked to blog about shit (great vocab gurl, do I even go to uni) and show you guys what I've been working on! Life's been filthy lately (but equal amounts of great) involving excessive consumption of food (just ate 300g of Bavarian cake, you wanna go?), naked dance parties to Backstreet Boys because I have the house to myself, a solo patisserie crawl along Rozelle, a whiskey + apple mint flavored shisha and showing up to my Marketing exam half drunk from the night before covered in bruises, a swollen lip and a bleeding ear:



I AM NOT EVEN POUTING OKAY I walked around looking like I got botox done by a 5 year old on a street corner in China
Worth it though - that was the night Jackie Onassis was playing and they're d o p e as fuck. Download their whole freaking album here or you're a wrinkled foreskin (that's my new favorite comeback fyi).

"How to become a sloth wrangler"

Hi guys I know it's been a while since I've upd - okay no one cares anyway I'm just here because I wanted to show you guys what a crazy sloth lady I am with my browser history

It's not that I love sloths it's just that I want to be one
I have a serious problem

FUCK YES NO MAYBE

I'll admit, I get a lot of shit from people for either wearing ugly curtain patterned skirts, or ultra slutty slut crop tops or gross K-Mart granny underpants or loving One Direction unironically but having bad taste and being tacky is too much fun to give up.

So you can imagine my trashy, wet dream delight when a friend was having a thrift shop themed party on Mardi Gras, a holy calling to deck out in my 1970's prom queen gear or as a sequin clad stripper (or both). I ended up wearing this shirt, which didn't fit my aforementioned trashy brief, but who could say no to this shirt? Like actually. So I did a bit of searching and so the story behind 'Cool kids say yes' goes...

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"There was this cultural movement in France in the 19th century that basically said 'Humans aren't that hard to figure out. All that we are can be found in our actions.' In response to this, Pete Versus Toby deduced that what defines cool is saying yes.
So, if you're having an existential crisis, just say yes and at least you'll be cool."

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I could liken my own form of an existential crisis to when I boil my broccoli and they come out still kind of hard and raw and chewy, but not enough for me to boil them again, so I eat them anyway, which is kind of like, a lame and mediocre kind of crisis, you know? Either way I definitely dig what the shirt is trying to say. I won't 'Yes Man' that shit (you know, that Jim Carrey movie with beautiful unicorn Jennifer Aniston?), but I'm tired of being scared of doing things, so yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Except maybe to maybe watching Vampire Diaries. I just can't even

I didn't even buy this ugly weird ass actually kind of cute aw it's cute! necklace from a thrift shop, I had it ages ago when a kid was selling it at some school market. 

So okay guys, please tell me, what're you saying yes to this month?

Stray Fashion Week Musings

- Do editors ever tire of saying how leather and florals are this season's trends?

- Let me guess this season's hit color palette is grey and neutrals

- Why does Olivia Palermo have a blog

- Jason Wu Fall 2013 breaks my heart (I liked his Pre-Fall better)

- I know it's really constructive to get criticism from anyone about your work, but when bloggers (see above) or sites like Cosmo comment about how much a collection has 'disappointed' them I just imagine the designer going lol sorry not sorry

Aubrey Plaza x ASOS / 'Evil Hag' Appreciation Post

I usually don't like to post editorials and add to the Internet clutter of mundane and irrelevant commentary, but this is one clutter I must grant aforementioned mundane and irrelevant commentary. I just can't pass up any opportunity to fan girl over Aubrey Plaza, a.k.a my favorite character on Parks and Recreation (Leslie Knope comes a close second). She's genuinely the creepy queen of weird, death stares and social inappropriateness, all the while being hilarious and her no bullshit self and basically everything I want to be in life okay?!

So anyway, she's on the cover of ASOS's magazine app thing this month. While I'm on the topic of ASOS, did they change buyers or something? I swear, all their clothes got uglier.

Flashback

Yes, I intend for this to be a 'fashion' blog, but make no mistake - I am not fashionable at all. I just like talking about clothes and how fucking hideous Jeremy Scott collections are o m g Taylor Tomasi Hill is my queen!!!!! I say this because I have to warn you, this post might offend some of you. See, I've been cleaning out my closet and throwing shit out (actually, recycling), and literally, I ended up with a pile of turd that resembled my shameful teen fashion past

 

So here we go, I picked some of the most hideous, cringe inducing pieces of crap that might make you recoil in second hand embarrassment for your viewing displeasure. I cried myself to sleep shortly after this post.

To your left are my floral leggings from Cotton On. At the time of purchase, I honestly thought wow I am so fashion forward and stylish, is this like haute kOuture??? To be fair, they were very comfortable. My mom said maybe I could be a DIY queen and salvage them and make them bicycle shorts. I said moooommm that's like having shitty booty call sex with someone and then asking them to date you the next day (no, I didn't actually say that) - however, very similar situations.

To your right are these orange stockings. I don't even know what to say, what was I trying to achieve?!

Hi wow there's period blood everywhere on this shirt sorry about this

I actually really like camo print, but people won't take me seriously when I wear this. I'm just a misunderstood camo girl in a big city world okay anyway



I'm trying to revert back to my 13 year old mind set to comprehend why I was compelled to buy this...thing. Potential theories:

1. I thought it was very 'Rachel Zoe' / 'Mary Kate Olsen' 
2. I was hoping its soft and fluffy exterior might attract boys to want to hug me
3. Pillow case / dress new trend

Either way, I kept it. BOYZ HOLLA



Remember when word shirts used to be like a mating call? HEY LOOK AT ME I'M FUNNY AND DOWN TO EARTH AND CASUAL AND WITTY! Now only 50 year old married men wear them, usually some puns about beer or 'You don't make friends with salad'.
Just so we're clear, the shirt on your left says 'You're a black hole, you're dense and you suck'.
Just so we're not clear, I don't know what is happening on the shirt on the right, my aunt got it from China Town I think. I like the intent behind it though, throw a few good sounding words and hope it works out, much like my college essays



This is from Harajuku in Tokyo. I had a pathetic (it didn't last long) goth / scene phase; there was a time when I roamed Xanga, wrote Evanescence lyrics on my school notebooks and listened to The Scene Aesthetic and Rivers of Blood. Yes, I must've thought, this is perfect; the tulle, the ribbons, the possibly satanic and rebellious messages scrawled all over in a font that resembles 'Brush Script MT' is perfect in depicting my deep teen wounds.

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This probably won't be my last post on my hideous possessions, because that's what life is about right? Making mistakes like buying orange stockings and then hating yourself.
Feel free to tell me your ugly fashion past / make a post about it so I feel better about myself, thanks!